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by Dianne Polseno, LPN, LMT
You know your massage therapist friend is having sex with clients. What would you do? Read on for Dianne’s advice.
Q:
I am a new massage therapy student. My dilemma is about
my friend, a professional massage therapist, who is
having sexual relations with some of her clients. I know
this because she admitted it to me, and we have
discussed it. This weighs heavily on my mind.
I had an honest talk with her about my concerns and
feelings about the situation. She minimized the issue,
but also told me she’s seeing a counselor. While I
believe her, I wonder if she’s talking about this
particular issue. During our conversation, she informed
me that she just wants to be alone—no close friendships,
only acquaintances. I would like to believe that this is
her way of beginning to establish boundaries, yet I know
it can also be her way of distancing herself from me
because I confronted her.
While I care for my friend and don’t want to hurt her
legally, I recognize that her behavior is unacceptable,
but I’m not sure how to proceed. Do I ask for assistance
from the director of my massage school? Is peer
supervision available through AMTA (which I know my
friend is an active member of)? Or, now that she is in
counseling, do I trust that she will make her own way
through this, now that she is becoming aware of her
issues?
I fear there is no one else in her life who is prodding
her to get help with this, and that it will continue.
What is my responsibility in this? What would you do if
it were you in my shoes??
—Anonymous
A. Sexual misconduct is a serious matter that must be
attended to. Although your loyalty to your friend is
understandable, be careful not to allow it to stand in
your way of taking appropriate action. You may feel
burdened by this situation; however, the true burden is
not yours. Keep it simple: you know information that you
must act upon; your friend has the burden of sexual
misconduct.
It would be helpful to speak to the director of your
school so you can get support as you navigate your way
through this. Taking action against a friend, no matter
how justified and necessary, is not likely to be easy or
without trepidation. Support for yourself will be
helpful in keeping you clear about your responsibility,
since guilt and discomfort may hinder your determination
to proceed with the right action.
AMTA will support you by taking immediate action on the
report of a member’s misconduct. The term used for
reporting a complaint about a member is called the “Grievance
Procedure.” The circumstances that you explain
fulfill the requirements that must be met for the
Grievance Committee to take action on a complaint,
namely that your friend told you the information
firsthand (it cannot be hearsay), and that she is a
member of AMTA.
You asked what I would do if I were in your shoes. If I
had spoken honestly to my friend and still had concerns
that she was continuing the behavior, I would inform her
that because I was not comfortably certain that the
behavior had stopped, I was taking action to file a
complaint to initiate the AMTA Grievance Procedure.
Then, I would get support from a trusted colleague and
file a written complaint to begin the process with AMTA.
The AMTA Grievance Committee will take over from there.
I’d rather live with any awkwardness and discomfort I
might feel from filing a complaint than live with the
knowledge that I knew of sexual misconduct and failed to
report it.
Good luck with your process. In this situation, no
option is easy.
Q: I am a client with a question about professional protocol for
dealing with well-established clients who make a mistake
and forget an appointment. What is the ethical manner
taught to massage therapists in regards to charging or
not charging for missed appointments?
I had
a long-standing professional relationship with a local
therapist; I have seen her regularly for massage therapy
for more than a decade. I have also referred my family
and friends to her. She and I grew closer in our
professional relationship over the years as one might
expect—it’s easy to know about the life of someone you
see on a regular basis. This was true of our
relationship, and most recently, she knew all the
details about a distant trip I was planning to take for
the birth of my grandchild. It happens that I was out of
town for the birth on the day of my massage, but I did
call her several hours before my appointment to tell her
I was unable to make it, and asked if I could
reschedule. Her response was that she would have to
charge me for the appointment because I failed to give
her 24 hours notice, which is her policy.
This
has affected me greatly. First of all, I have been a
very faithful client who has requested more than once
that she give me a confirmation call the day before my
appointments. She has given confirmation calls in the
past, but not for this one. Secondly, she once cancelled
an appointment with me at the last minute because she
had a bad cold. I was expected to understand that
legitimate unforeseen things happen that do not allow
time for 24 hours notice, but I wasn’t offered the same
understanding. I mailed her a note that expressed my
feelings and informed her that I will take a break from
seeing her for massage due to the discomfort of the
situation.
Is
her response to my late rescheduling needs professional?
Is this what most professional therapists would do in
dealing with longstanding clients who have given them
much loyalty and business over the years? Am I
unreasonable to hope that exceptions can be made, even
in the face of a cancellation policy??
—Anonymous
A. Your experience provides a valuable perspective for
therapists to consider as they encounter this issue in
their own practices. In reality, many therapists deal
with late cancellations and no-shows as a common
problem, losing hours and revenue because of clients’
forgetfulness and unexpected emergencies. In an effort
to not “throw the baby out with the bath water” it’s
important to highlight the appropriateness of having a
written cancellation policy that all clients are aware
of and then implementing it.
Where a wise business practice becomes a detrimental
business practice is when it is indiscriminately
enforced. Kathy Bernstein, integrated Kabbalistic healer
from Rhode Island, succinctly summarizes this matter:
“The difference between the poison and the cure is the
measure. At what point does the cure become the poison?”
While it is a wise business practice to implement a
cancellation policy, professional and ethical
enforcement require situational discretion. This
discretion manifests when compassion, understanding,
respect, flexibility and adaptability are present. As
evidenced in the case you describe, the enforcement of a
policy “no matter what” hardly seems wise if it does not
support the therapeutic relationship, and the client
does not return as a result.
Therapists don’t have standardized policies that
regulate how they are to respond to situations like
yours. The way your situation was handled appears
extreme, and your hopes and expectations seem very
reasonable. Your ability to express yourself and act on
your own behalf is commendable, even though the outcome
was unfortunate. Hopefully, you will not let this
situation keep you from finding another practitioner who
will provide you with many more years of the benefits
you received from massage therapy.
Q: isn’t a question, but a summary of a resolved ethical
situation that I would like to share with other
therapists so they can protect themselves. Several
months ago, I found myself in an unethical and illegal
situation with “respected” employers as a therapist in
their private practice. While still in school, I was
hired at this practice. As an employee, I was paid a
percentage of each massage and no hourly wage. The
therapists were asked to volunteer hours to “build up
the business.” If employees left the company, they
weren’t allowed to take their client names with them.
Bottom line—employees did a lot of work for free.
Early
in my employment, I began developing a specialized
massage therapy workshop for a focal group. I worked
from home on my own time doing research, protocols, etc.
I went to my employers with my ideas and they encouraged
me to pursue them; soon I was doing workshops and
conferences for the practice. I had disagreements with
my employer about what I should be paid for these
ventures. I felt it was my workshop and I wanted more
than my typical percentage for massaging clients, which
was 40 percent. They thought I was an employee and
should only be paid my regular fee. We argued for
awhile, and they finally agreed to pay 70 percent.
In
the meantime, I contacted three lawyers to copyright my
workshop material and sent the material to the Library
of Congress. The work was entirely done at my home on my
time; there was no contract for hire for course
development, and I received no compensation except when
I presented the workshop. It was clearly my program.
Shortly after they agreed to pay me 70 percent of the
workshop proceedings, it came to my attention through an
e-mail I received that my employer was making
arrangements with another organization to do my program
on their own and not pay me. I confronted them and
confirmed my suspicions. They argued that in their
opinion, I was their employee and that any work I had
done belonged to them.
I
refused to give them my program material, so they fired
me and wrote in my records that I was terminated for
insubordination. Then they hired a lawyer who threatened
to charge me with theft if I did not return the
materials to the employer’s office—materials that were
never at the office because I always kept them at home.
On the advice of my lawyer, I did not respond to the
letter, and I did not provide them with any of my
material. I have not heard from them since, but neither
have I heard from the large majority of the clients with
whom I worked while I was employed there. I know my
employer lied about the situation to the other
employees; fortunately, my coworkers knew better and
called to support me.
I
trusted my employers, so I didn’t have a contract with
them regarding the workshop. If I hadn’t been as
informed and as bold as I was, they probably would’ve
intimidated me into giving them my work. I’ve made my
peace with the situation and continue to present the
workshop on my own. I really want other therapists to be
informed that being an employee doesn’t mean the company
owns everything you do.
—Anonymous
A. This situation underscores and italicizes the need for
written contracts, clearly spelled out particulars and
the value of legal counsel.
Dianne Polseno, LPN, LMT, is the director of education
at Cortiva Institute-Muscular Therapy Institute. She’s
the recipient of the 2006 Jerome Perlinski Teacher of
the Year Award. Send your ethical queries to
ethics@amtamassage.org.
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American Massage Therapy Association®
